aloha

Well, well, well… Nice to meet you, my name is Janeil Famacion, but you can also call me Janjan. I wanted to share as to why I wanted to pursue art, and learn a little bit more about me.

I was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, both of my parents were immigrants from the Philippines but they met in Hawaii. My real father was never in the picture and my mom’s boyfriend raised me. I am the half sibling of three older sisters, who later immigrated to Hawaii. During my childhood, I was a child who enjoyed her creative activities especially revolving around sketching and paintings.

However, slowly as I grew, I felt this pressure of high expectations that were silently placed on me. I was expected to be this genius, who graduated high school, sent off to college, and then pursue a professional career that I would hate doing like a lawyer, doctor, or an accountant.

At 13, I suffered accounts of physical, verbal, emotional and even sexual abuse, all while keeping up the image of a golden child.

Not once did I feel I could pursue art and make a career out of it.

In my young adult life, I got into University of Nevada, Reno without the help of my parents. I met amazing friends there and for a while I enjoyed my freedom away from my parents. What I realized though, during my time away from them, is realizing all the pain and trauma I have bottled inside from all those years during my adolescence became self destructive habits as an adult.

Before I ever thought about art as my therapy, I was constantly navigating my mental health journey in different ways. I used prescriptions and my own personal vices to numb myself and prevent doing the work to heal my past wounds and traumas. I remember being hospitalized after a suicide attempt and a recreational therapist visited while I was in residence. She had watercolor paints and brushes, and I would remember how calm I felt when I started to paint. It was at that moment, I realized that art was one interest that worked for me. There was something transformative about putting my energy into a sketchbook or a canvas to help me convey my raw emotions. Even then, I still wasn’t sure that I can choose a career path as an artist, until I met my close friends and my second family who supported me to chase my dreams.

My COVID Friend

ink on paper, 2020

My first ever supporter of my art was my partner, Kory Day. I remembered it like it was yesterday. But he was looking through my sketchbook and saw the sketches I made.

“You have talent,” he said.

I shrugged it off like it was nothing, but I asked him for reassurance if he liked it.

“I love it.” he said.

It instilled in my brain, for a while, that this man, this complete stranger (at first) whom I’ve told my entire life story in one day, said that he loved my sketches. He looked around my apartment and saw some of the art I’ve made and told me that he loved my work. I didn’t know my art was that good, nor did anyone else besides a few close friends tell me they liked what I made. But the amazing part about him is that he understood my art. He understood me.

I felt safe around him, and even more so, I felt like myself around him. I could talk about my passions and my dreams to him without judgment and he would support me fully if I wanted to follow it. Now here I am writing in my portfolio website full of art I made in the past year. He was always the first to see my work, and he always cheered me on even on my worst of days.

Olivia and Star

Acrylic on canvas, February 2024

I love him, everyday is brighter now that I’m with him. I laugh more and smile more when I’m with him. He changed my life for the better and I’m so grateful for what he has given me. I loved his personality, his laugh, his nerdy virtues, and his cute smile. Out of love, I kept painting for him, and soon enough I kept painting for me. So I said, “why not?” and pursue a career as an artist.

The Mental War

Acrylic on canvas, February 2024

It was a dream I wanted since I was a child. So it happened, on June 2024, I was a live artist at StillDream Festival, and I sold one of my paintings. To this day, I still can not believe I got to paint live at a festival showcasing my art booth. Since then, I just kept going, and I don’t want to stop. I want to put myself out there, paint my heart out and show that heart to the community because I’d say it’s worth a shot, to show the world who Janjan is and what she sees through her eyes and give a message to the community that art can free you from your own internal enemy, and make peace between your mind and heart.

StillDream 2024